Avoiding The Defeatist

A man on a stairwell

“Defeatist” – Someone who willingly accepts or expects failure”

     Does this sound at all like you? Do you know someone in your life that decides to give up before they even try? There are millions of defeatists in the world. Many of them are very good at hiding it, and many of them are completely unaware that there is actually a term for “accepting defeat”. Do not mistake a defeatist for a defensive pessimist, who is someone that expects failure but in turn, does everything they can to prepare for it in advance (statistics show that defensive pessimism is just as power as optimism!). Here are 5 ways to avoid being your own defeatist, and how you can help spread the word!

     1) Avoid listening to the negative voice within

     Everyone has that voice inside of their head that, whether on occasion or as a self-defeating constant variable, decides to demean who you are or what you are doing (sometimes even what you have already done – it loves to bring up the past). Anyone with a shred of common sense will tell you: don’t listen to it! There are some ways to avoid this negative “inner-talk”. You can start by reading this article by The Huffington Post, which provides some wonderful methods even I could not have thought of!

     2) Remind yourself of who you truly are inside

     If you have a strong sense-of-self, you know who you are, and if something pops into your head that you would not normally believe or consider a reality, you are better able to combat the “defeatist” attitude because you can stand by your principles. If that voice inside of your head happens to be having a bad day and wishes to take it out on you, balance out what you are hearing on the inside with what you would normally say or do from without. The best way to defeat a defeatist attitude, is to prove it otherwise! Stand up and face the person in that mirror!

3) Smile…because a defeatist doesn’t smile

     Similar to what I said earlier (the best way to defeat a defeatist attitude, is to prove it otherwise), when you feel the defeatist inside of you beginning to come alive, you’d be amazed at how such a simple act as smiling, could provide such a deterrent against a negative attitude. When you smile, your body releases endorphins and serotonin – both are chemicals that cause a “feel good” effect. A positive feeling will most surely break a negative attitude. Remember that you must truly believe in that smile for it to work; if you put on a half-assed grin, your body will know you are trying to trick it. Rather, you must put on a smile people will believe and in turn, one you believe. That is the epicenter of a truly beautiful person!

    4) Stay away from possible negative triggers

     The defeatist attitude strives on negative triggers. Bad events around you (this also includes people who are negative or “bad”) will only cause your mind to morph that defeatist frame-of-mind into something more realistic. If the world around you wears a frown (by that I mean your world, not the planet…leave the issues of the planet to itself) then guess what your inner defeatist will do? It will use those negative energies to fuel itself, and it will most surely show its ugly face. Do your very best to avoid situations and even people who tend to be on the down side, as they only enhance a doomed-to-fail attitude. Remain around those who believe in you!

     5) Distort reality for the greater good

     Did you know that sometimes distorting reality can be a good thing? Example: you are having a bad day. Naturally you are going to feel glum, but does that mean you have to stay that way? What if you were to, on a bad day, lie to yourself? I know, it may sound like horrible advice, but dwelling in negativity is also bad advice, so do the exact opposite. In its own way, what is a defeatist anyway? It is someone who has distorted reality by allowing themselves to think they will fail before they have even begun the race! So combat that feeling of failure with a winner’s attitude. Imagine yourself at the finish line, with people chanting your name, as you break through the red ribbon! Life is a race, right? Well, treat it as such!

Author: Ryan W. McClellan

I am a Life Coach and Motivational Speaker, author of several books, and Key Journalist for LOL News.

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