I don’t get it. As a Life Counselor, I have to deal with a lot of different types of people.
One pattern I have been noticing is an ever-increasing sense of futility and darkness in the minds of even those with everything to lose and not much else left to gain. Many would blame terrorism; others would blame the media for transmitting information that portrays this world as a dark and dangerous place.
And therein lies the problem.
The world is not dark; our perception is merely distorted. In turn, stop playing the victim! We take our self-importance to a new extreme these days, and everybody wants to be the “top dog;” no one wants to be the “loser.” But what is so wrong with being normal? And, in turn, define “normal.” That word is what we make it, and so is reality. Our ideal selves are clouded by fallacies of who we portray as actual selves, and that is a concept not many seem to understand: that normal is what we make it. “Real” is what we make it!
So, in turn, just stop it! Stop playing the victim card; stop folding the hand you are dealt. Embrace the beauty of truth, the values you withhold as a human being, and lastly, be all that you can be – even if it is not all you want to be. As humans, we have this weird misconception about what life is really about. We all seem to think that there is a need for perfection, and though we can blame the media all we want for glamorizing thinness and futility in the minds of girls (and ruggedness and danger for guys), in the end the media is not to blame. We are to blame for taking it in light of all of the good this world has to offer.
The Victim Card
I do not know where I heard this term first, but it exists: the victim card. A standard deck of cards holds 52 cards, typically with 4 of each card. But there is a missing element that we forget about: the “victim card.” This is the card we are given when we are dealt a bad hand and instead of playing the odds, we choose to fold. Take risks! Let the victim card go to someone else, and take control of your life and yourself! Be all that you can be, and for once, learn to stand up and fight for what is yours. If you want those multi-colored chips to land on your side of the poker table, then you must continue playing the game, never giving up!
I was once the person who was dealt the victim card, and I would play it every hand. I thought that it was all I could ever get; it was all I knew. Then one day, I realized I was so much better at this game we call “life” than I give myself credit for. I may not be perfect, and I may not be normal, but define those two terms based on your own belief system. Why do we seek our ideal selves? What makes us, as human beings, so determined to be perfect? And last but most important of them all: why do we enjoy playing that victim card? It is a battle that cannot be won.
But It Can Be Stopped
Make yourself a promise today: be all that you can be, but not at the expense of your true self. When the common media flashes images of danger and deceit, change the channel and turn on something fun and enlightening. This is the part of the human experience we forget to embrace: the lighthearted side of things. We are so distracted by the dangers of terrorism, the failsafes of school security, and the epidemic of brute police force that we forget to see the good! What about the good samaritan who helps an old woman cross the road? What about the thousands of homeless individuals who get by on a nickel a day? Why are we so concerned with school safety, yet we continue to let others starve? Well, I’ll tell you why.
We are trained as sheep, but remember something: sharks are born swimming. In that sense, we must begin to work toward a greater existence – something better and higher above us than what presently exists. It is not easy – I can promise you that. In fact, the easy road is going with the norm, and embracing maladaptation within society and our lives as human beings on this great planet. There is a saying: “Life’s a b**ch, but isn’t she great?” Remember that next time you see a man begging for change, as it is in our destinies to shine; it is in our best of interests to make the most out of the one life we have to give.
Embrace The Good
Stop trying to be perfect; stop trying to be normal. Instead, redefine perfection; redefine normal. Define the two words as what you already are, and go from there. That is what I do, and even in my worst of days, I find solace in the fact that I am as perfect as I can get. Does that mean I am without flaw? No! In fact, it means I am perfectly flawed! I have so many things wrong with me that I could not even begin to count the facets of my existence that I wish I could change. But, if I were to change them, where would I be now? Who would I have turned out if I had given up on the world of business? Would I have gotten to where I am now, or would I have tucked my tail in between my legs and called it a day?
Embrace being “perfectly flawed,” and stop caring about what others think! You are you, and though this world is filled with terror, mass murders and cult followings, it is our duty as human beings of the free world to do everything we can to see the other side of life, and the other side of darkness: the light that embraces the homeless man with nothing to lose; the dawn that bridges racial barriers; the beginning of our ideal selves taking shape (and the realization that our ideal selves are actually our actual selves in disguise…we simply do not recognize it). Stop playing the victim card; stop trying to be perfect; stop trying to be normal; and stop paying attention to the negative. Instead, embrace who you are, give that homeless man the benefit of the doubt, and become all that you can be.
Who’s with me?