Losing Our True Selves

Are you losing your true self?
Remember to take a beat and do what you love!

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A woman writing in a pad of paper

Want to know something weird? I forgot how to write.

     Well, not exactly. As you can see, I can still write a blog article; I still have six books published; and I still have the desire to do so. However, I figured it would be time for me to try and get back to this (as unprofessional as this may be in correlation to what my job actually entails), so consider this a blank slate of white space that has no direct purpose. Well, it does have one purpose: to prove to myself that I can still write a daily blog, and in turn, to remind not only myself but also everyone who reads this, that our true selves may be deadened by life…but that does not excuse us from still trying.

Much Like The Ocean…

      Much like the ocean, life is full of rip tides. And much like any body of water, we often find that the more light we try to provide it – without a sustainable source of ancillary perspiration, anyway (balance, in other words) – the sooner it dries up. I have found that the less I write, the more I lose the ability to do so; the more energy I put into trying to get up every morning and write a blog or an article, the more that ocean within me begins to dry up. And without providing more water through rain, a “lose-lose” situation begins to occur.

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     All life within that ocean begins to die out.

     Now, for me it may be writing. I was always a gifted writer, and I was born with that talent. For as long as I can remember, I have always been a great writer (even if this post seems a bit off, I know that in my heart I am still the best darned writer since Stephen King). But for others, it may mean something else. That is the weird thing about life: the more we try to do something with ourselves, the more we forget about our true selves.  At least, that has been the case with me.

Yet Here I Am…

     Yet, here I am, writing an article despite having no desire to do so. Replace the word: “Writing” with anything you feel you may have lost in the rat race we call “life.” Do you feel the same way? Has life robbed you of enough free time to exercise your true passion? Or were you one of the lucky ones, who managed to find a career out of doing something you love? I will tell you a little story about a cousin of mine…

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   As the only “other” writer in my family, she is actually about ten years older, and I think part of my ability to write stemmed from her overachievement. She was her high school’s student newsletter editor; she went to college as an English major; and she found a career writing for the LA Times! Yes, my cousin was an esteemed author who made her life’s work all about writing. But guess what happened?

You Guessed It

     One Passover dinner, we sat down and we all ate, spoke, caught up…I never really had a religious upbringing so Passover to us was always: “If someone happens to be in town on a Jewish holiday, we will have dinner at my grandmother’s house.” She happened to be there, and this may have been a while back but it has stuck with me to this very date. She was asked if she was enjoying writing. I will never forget these words…

     “You know, I really don’t consider myself a writer anymore.”

     ….Excuse me, what?! Life gave you an opportunity to do what you love, for a living, and in turn it robbed you of your self-proclaimed title? It was then that I became the only writer in the family, at least in my eyes, because in life we have to make sure we protect our self-interests. This means never letting those facets of ourselves die out, and especially because of money or, in her case, merely doing it so much that she forgot to stare past the blind spot and realize this was her definition; this was who she was! Why is it that we get so caught up in life that we forget to do what we love?

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So, What About You?

     I feel this has been an awful blog post. In fact, three-fourths of my blog posts are utter crap in my eyes. I read over it twice so far, and that is before it has even been published. I am nitpicking at the many mistakes I have made so far. The wording is off and erratically self-indulgent; the structure is lacking; and God help me about the grammatical and punctuation-prone errors I have made…but yet I still found time today to say: “Hey, I don’t want to lose this ability. I need to use it more often; I need to exercise my brain and do what I enjoy…” It was hard writing this, I won’t lie.

      So, do yourself a favor today, and remember that I said this was a blank slate of white space (see the introduction): realize that though I feel this is not worth the post, and though I feel that this was not exactly my best work, I still took the time to close out my mind for half an hour to do what I am truly passionate about. If you feel the way I feel, and are beginning to lose yourself in work or life, all the while forgetting that there is something missing from the equation (for me, that would be writing; for you it may be anything from skydiving to something as simple as taking a moment to read a book by a window, staring down while everyone else walks parallel in sync), take half an hour to do what you love. Do not let life rob you of your passions…

     And contact me for guidance if you need help finding yourself again.

 

 

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Author: Ryan W. McClellan

Entrepreneur, Author & Business Consultant With A Background In Multimedia & Content Development

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